Deja voo
“My word, you’re looking gorgeous today.”
“What are you like?”
“Consistent. We’ve had this conversation before.”
“We have”.
“Oh, and I’m accurate.”
“Well, I wasn’t about to disagree with you.”
Ah, she’s such a sweetie.
Hurrah for the Inland Revenue!
Ok, so they may not have processed my change of address yet (be fair - it’s only been 28 months), but they have sent me a lovely cheque thanks to my having overpaid on tax some years ago. Apparently.
Huzzah!
Hurrah for Royal Mail!
Ok, they may have lost a recent eBay purchase of mine, but my postie is still redirecting post from our last house, sixteen months after the redirection instruction expired.
Reasons to be cheerful
1. Um …
2. …. errr …
3.
I’m struggling. Can you help? Shazza suggested “You’ve got a great car, I’m your friend and Stubby’s your friend” but this didn’t help much (they’re both friends only as far as going for lunch is concerned and while the WTB is clearly a babe magnet it’s doing nothing for the aspirations of its owner).
“Pssst!” I’d whispered at Stubby earlier.
“What?”
“I’d just like to mention that you’re looking gorgeous today.”
She blushed. “What are you like?”
“Consistent. And consistently unsuccessful.”
“True.”
As Maga mentioned, the world is back to normal, then. …
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
The idea of using audio surveillance at the Olympics is being considered among proposals for enhancing security at the Games, well-placed sources have told [BBC] Five Live.
The devices would be able to pick up conversations up to 100 yards away.
But details of how the system might be used have not been worked out.
[source]
Isn’t this a brilliant idea and so simple too? After all, the defining characteristic about terrorists is their tendency to discuss their plans in the street. Manpower could be an issue, I know, what with you needing to recruit half the country to spy on the other half, but it’s a great way to encourage Brits to learn a foreign language.
My faith in human nature is restored
Remember the food parcel and the note:
Finally completed, sorry about the delay.
Kind Regards,
Lisa Longlegs
?
She lied.
Muppets.
A return to the olden days
Not that old, of course. I refer, instead, to my amusing and ongoing failure to progress with either the lovely Stubby or the lovely Shazza.
Shazza beguiled me into a lunch date today (not that I needed much persuading when cheesy chips were mentioned). We chatted as Shazza played with the pub’s cat. Ironically, she mentioned how lonely she feels at times. Needless to say, I reminded her that she has my phone number.
I said “ironically” because, when I gave Stubby a lift home from work, she too mentioned feeling lonely at times. Again, I pointed out that she too has my phone number.
It seems that in both cases, while they do indeed feel lonely at times (Shazza especially when she wakes up, Stubby especially when things go bump in the night), they don’t feel quite lonely enough to pick up the phone.
Stubby’s suggested a lunch date for next week, though, so I’m keep my hopes inexplicably raised.
Peh. Women.
Thrice deflated
First of all, Anglia Water.
I tried Murphy’s line. She’d heard it before (presumably from Murphy). She was baffled as to my letter, though, as my account is as clear as I knew it was. I felt sadly deflated as I’d been quite looking forwards to an argument.
No matter. I was due to visit the local branch of Pops’ bank to sort out some paperwork. Based on past experienced Wuglums and I both expected awkwardness and bloodymindedness. I fully expected to be able to vent both the spleen they deserved plus the spleen originally earmarked for Anglia Water.
Once again I was foiled.
“That all seems in order. You’ll hear from us within seven working days.”
Darn. This meant that I’d have to give Lisa Longlegs at my bank a triple earful after their having given me the runaround and needless delays on sorting out the new mortgage. She wasn’t in the branch this afternoon, though, so I’d have to speak to her tomorrow. That’s not a problem - I’ll still have a plentiful supply of spleen for her.
Then I get home to be greeted by Mandy next door. She had a large box for me, delivered in my absence.
“You’ll have to open it - it’s got perishable goods.”
“But all I’m waiting for is a new camera bag.”
“The label says ‘Perishable Goods’”.
“It does, but it’d better not be the camera bag - I’ll be very annoyed if that’s perishable.”
There was a card in the box:
FInally completed, sorry about the delay.
Kind Regards,
Lisa Longlegs
It was a parcel from the bank as an apology for the inconvenience. A food parcel - Scottish High Tea tea bags, a couple of cakes and some Yorkshire baskets, a jar of lemon curd, some strong cheese and some small pots of Dundee marmalade.
Oh dear - what am I going to do with all this spleen?