rARsh!

Thrice deflated

First of all, Anglia Water.

I tried Murphy’s line. She’d heard it before (presumably from Murphy). She was baffled as to my letter, though, as my account is as clear as I knew it was. I felt sadly deflated as I’d been quite looking forwards to an argument.

No matter. I was due to visit the local branch of Pops’ bank to sort out some paperwork. Based on past experienced Wuglums and I both expected awkwardness and bloodymindedness. I fully expected to be able to vent both the spleen they deserved plus the spleen originally earmarked for Anglia Water.

Once again I was foiled.

“That all seems in order. You’ll hear from us within seven working days.”

Darn. This meant that I’d have to give Lisa Longlegs at my bank a triple earful after their having given me the runaround and needless delays on sorting out the new mortgage. She wasn’t in the branch this afternoon, though, so I’d have to speak to her tomorrow. That’s not a problem - I’ll still have a plentiful supply of spleen for her.

Then I get home to be greeted by Mandy next door. She had a large box for me, delivered in my absence.

“You’ll have to open it - it’s got perishable goods.”

“But all I’m waiting for is a new camera bag.”

“The label says ‘Perishable Goods’”.

“It does, but it’d better not be the camera bag - I’ll be very annoyed if that’s perishable.”

There was a card in the box:

FInally completed, sorry about the delay.

Kind Regards,

Lisa Longlegs

It was a parcel from the bank as an apology for the inconvenience. A food parcel - Scottish High Tea tea bags, a couple of cakes and some Yorkshire baskets, a jar of lemon curd, some strong cheese and some small pots of Dundee marmalade.

Oh dear - what am I going to do with all this spleen?