A Great Innovator of our Time
Mmmmm … hot chocolate. I thought.
Mmmmm … cappuccino. I pondered.
Which would I have to start my day (and give me a little energy boost after my swim). Then I had a brainwave.
How good would a mixture of the two taste?
Argh! Kids!
Let’s just say that a swim at 7pm with a pool full of shrieking brats (including a girl who “accidentally” hit me on the head with her bloody inflatable ball on at least four occasions) bears no similarity to a swim a 7am. Other than the water, of course, and the presence of lifeguards.
But I’ve skipped an exciting day at work and I’m not only referring to more mildy flirty IM conversations with Ferny The Goth. She did warn us on her first day that she considers herself to be the Queen of Innuendo. Today’s chat ended with the exchange:
L: Ah, if only we didn’t work together
FTG: Yes, it’s a shame
L: I may quote you on that if I leave the team
FTG:
Little does she know that we may not be working together for that much longer. With Tall Andy’s approval (well, he didn’t object), I’ve been talking to one of the other managers about a transfer to the Geek Squad. This should work well for Tall Andy too, of course, as having an “insider” in the Geek Squad should help with the delivery of some techy goodness relevant to Tall Andy’s motley crew. It’ll be weeks (months, possibly before any change and that’s if Tall Andy agrees to get rid of me as quickly as possible let me go, reluctantly). I think Ferny may get a little worried if and when the news is announced.
WARNING! Boring car drivel follows the » - skip if not extremely interested in boring vehicles. More »
Lionel is in demand
MatchGirl III (that’s “three”, not “one hundred and eleven”, Murph) has just been in touch, suggesting a weekend coffee.
This is getting complicated. Maybe I should assign codenames instead. Nah, that’d be even worse.
I noticed that MatchGirl I (one) - the manager from work - had viewed my profile. “So, did you like my profile?” I asked her, wondering why she’d bothered.
“Yes, it reads well. Have many people viewed it?”
“Eighteen, I think, since the end of December.”
“Oh.”
“And you?” I asked, expecting a lower figure from her tone.
“482 since September.”
That shut me up.
Deh Two. Seven oh five eh em. Lionel is in the pool.
That’s a dreadful Geordie accent, I know, and my overseas visitors will be blissfully unaware that the narrator for the “highlights” of Big Brother has a strong Geordie accent. Well, I assume it’s still the same chap. It’s a long time since I accidentally watched any of that drivel.
Anyway, I have “news” updates to share with you.
The meet market continues to show promise and last night I spoke to Match Girl II on the telephone. She sounded nice and I think I made a favourable impression so the possibility of a RL meeting remains, um, possible. We’ll see.
My fitness regime continues apace. Two whole days - a new record for me. Talking of records, I broke the almost mythical 1 mile per hour barrier (1.03mph, at 10 lengths in 18 minutes) It’s been fortunate, in fact, as I’ve not been sleeping well this week. Given that I’ve been waking at four each day, being in Norwhag for seven is a piece of cake1.
This has meant that I’ve been absolutely bushed come 3:30pm.
WiimoteTM batteries don’t last long, Thankfully I’ve plenty of rechargeables and am cooking up a batch so that I can have my half hour (or more) workout this evening.
There was a dusting of snow this morning in Aaalburgh so I expected chaos in the city. To be fair, there were almost two whole centimetres of snow on the north side of the A47 but still not a volume that would even raise a comment in Scotland. When I left the pool it was snowing fairly hard (for Norfolk, at least), so I was stuck behind idiots crawling through town at 15mph. Bah. Needless to say, driving conditions were perfectly fine and the snow didn’t linger (not on tarmac, at least).
I had a slightly odd IM conversation with Stubby. Nothing strange in that, of course.
“So, did you go swimming again?”
“Of course.”
“Will you be buying new clothes then?”
“Once I lose some weight, quite possibly. On the other hand, it’ll probably just mean that the clothes I’ve got will fit me better.”
“Great.”
Do you think she is trying to tell me some about my dress sense?
1 Mmmmm … cake.
I am a “daft a’porth”
Almost forget to mention that, assuming I remember to get tickets before they sell out, I’ll be going to see Lucy Porter next month with new colleague Ferny the Goth.
“I should point out that this is NOT a date. Because that would be WRONG.” I IM‘d her* (hence the titular response).
Don’t know why she said that, though, because it clearly would be wrong. And stupid, to boot.
Mind you …
Nononononononononono. Bad Lionel. Bad, bad Lionel.
* We were using IM’d to avoid raising Leah’s suspicions. She’d only get jealous.
I was shocked
I was shocked …. but not as shocked as the young lady whose cubicle I’d accidentally entered. That’ll teach her not to shut the door properly.
I was at the sports centre just before 7, you see, to find a short queue of people keen to get into the pool or the gym. My first surprise was to find that the “Changing Village” is not split into male and female areas, meaning that I’ll be needing a slightly larger towel tomorrow. I also learned (from the aforementioned young lady’s failure to shut her cubicle door) to be sure to shut my cubicle door securely. Oh yes.
I’d estimate that there were 20-25 people in the pool - rather more than I’m accustomed to seeing first thing in the morning (back in Perth I’d often have the pool to myself) but it seemed to work well with the regulars soon learning to swerve around me as I crawled back and forth at less than one mile per hour. Not wishing to overdo things on my first day, I completed ten lengths and then climbed out to get ready for work.
Strangely (for a unisex environment) there are only two showers with privacy curtains. Both were occupied so, not wishing to cause a scene by stripping off in full view of the pool (which was the only alternative), I stood and waited. A bikini flopped over the top of one of the curtains. Uh-oh. I recognised the pattern from my earlier faux-pas. There was, however, nowhere for me to hide so I just had to wait there studiously not watching the curtain (and definitely not thinking about what was going on or, more pertinently, coming off on the other side of the material) until she had finished her shower, covered her modesty and scurried past me to safety.
As I drew the curtain behind me I’m sure I heard the sound of deadbolts slamming home and felt reasonably sure I knew who was doing the slamming.
Lunch was with Stubby. She pressed me on my meet market experiences (a touch of jealousy, perhaps?) and we discussed my fitness regime. Stubby herself is hord de combat due to a groin injury. I’d noticed, in passing, that she was late in yesterday and it transpires that she’s been getting her groin massage. I’m ashamed to say that I couldn’t help commenting. Bad Lionel.
I quickly steered the conversation back to fitness equipment and Stubby extolled the virtues of exercise bikes where you can “race” a computer-controlled competitor.
“I’d be even better if you can assign places to waypoints. Pub. Cake Shop. Ice cream parlour. Bed. I’d work up a hell of a speed.” She looked at me. “Not necessarily in that order, though.”
“So that’s clearly your dream date, then. I’ll bear that in mind in case things don’t work out with the meet market.”
She laughed as I pretented to write on my PDA. “Pub. Cake Shop. Ice cream parlour. Bed. No. I’ll cross that last one out. Shouldn’t have that in the plan.”
“No, that will be a bonus if you do well at the first three.”
“Will”? Is it me, or is this the friendliest she’s ever been? Curiouser and curiouser.
I am most decisive
I explained to Stubby today that she’d missed the boat as the meet market seems to be going well. She took the news well, all things considered, including what I took to be her Disappointment Jig.
In view of the possibility of an actual real 1-to-1 date situation in the hopefully near future, and taking into account the fact that I’ve yet to shed five stone from playing games on my Wii, I have taken the rather serious step of joining a gymnasium. Well, it’s more of a health club really. Fortunately there’s a discount for being a minion of the Evil Overlords, so everyone wins. My “induction” (during which they explain how to use the strange Torture Devices) is next Monday but in the meantime I have access to the swimming pool.
Many, many years ago when we were back in Perth I used to start every day with a swim, so I’m rather looking forward to getting back into that routine. Mind you, I was five stone lighter in those days …