Lesson learned
I won’t deluge you with posts this weekend - I’ll just add and add and add to this one and then hit the “Publish” button every now and again.
“You’ve got an evil streak.”, Ferny the Goth told me yesterday. I don’t recall what it was that I’d said or done (probably said) to prompt this, but I felt I couldn’t let this go uncorrected.
“You’ve misunderstood me.” I countered. “I have a nice streak. I’m mostly evil.”
It was a cry for help from LSLP:
IF you happen to be planning to stop off at Middleton Hovel
AND
IF you want to get rid of the fabric flowers that I seem to recall were a feature of Rarsh Manor (though not I feel of your choosing) and you wanted to find a home for them
THEN perhaps I could help …
How could I fail to rush to the aid of a damson in distress? I arrived at Middleton Manor (I don’t think a hovel has a half mile long driveway) just after nine last night and handed over a couple of bunch of, um, lovely floral things. LSLP was perfectly correct in that they were a “feature” of rARsh Manor and definitely not of my choosing).
So that’s a start on clearing the house, then. 
We sat and chatted for a while (Wuglums being off in the U S of A for work - hence my third trip to Torchwood Town in as many weekends) and LSLP asked how my experiences of the Meet Market were coming along.
“Single friends of mine say that the Guardian’s adverts are good.” she told me, although she was quick to spot the key word in the sentence that might argue against its accuracy. “Although they are still single, of course.”
Indeed.
Both Bob and I have bemoaned the state of education in the UK today but, after a visit to Freshco this morning, I feel an apology may be in order.
“There’s all this fuss about kids leaving school today unable to spell or count …” I announced to the Little Old Lady at the Ten Items Or Less till … need I go on?
She just looked at me and continued to unload her trolley, so I huffed off to another till to pay for my Guardian. From the look on the face of the Freshco-ette womanning the till you’d think I’d just accused the old biddy of molesting children or something.
Biddy. Hmm.
Wasn’t there a Blue Peter producer called “Biddy”?
What sort of person names their child “Biddy”?
This blog is now the #1 search result for “Grand Master of Sarcasm and Wit”.
I’m going to have to publish the joke, aren’t I?
Dad’s favourite phrases today:
- Good point
- … wherever that may be
His most surprising exclamation, though, came as we left the building to get to the car.
“Hell’s Bells! It’s cold.”
“‘Hell’s Bells’? Where did that come from? I’ve never heard you say anything like that before.”
He just looked at me as if I’d started to speak Portuguese.
“Are Wales playing rugby today?”
“No, I think they’re playing France tomorrow.” (I was wrong, it’s later tonight).
“Is it in Torchwood Town?”
“No, it’ll be in Paris. It’s the Pointless Cup Final in Torchwood Town tomorrow - Arsenal against Chelsea.”
“Oh. Are you thinking of going?”
Where did that come from?!
There’s a model of the SS Titanic in the cafeteria at Chateau Llandough.
“That’s an excellent model.”
“Yes, it’s the SS Titanic.”
“Yes.”
Hmm. Let’s see how his memory is today. “What can you tell me about the Titanic?”
“Oh, it’s a very famous, um, …”
“Boat? Ship?”
“Yes, a very famous liner.”
“Anything else?”
“Oh, it’s been crossing the country famously for years.”
“The country?”
“Ah, no. The, um, …”
“Atlantic?”
“Yes. Ocean.”
“Are you sure it’s been crossing the ocean famously for years?”
He thought long and hard about this. “Yes.”
“You don’t think that it may have been the least successful maiden voyage ever, hitting an iceberg and sinking before it reached its first destination?”
He thought long and hard about this before replying: “Oh no. It’s famous.”
Oh well. No sense in arguing. Nice model, though.
I’ve got a shedload of work to do tonight but have arranged to visit a woman tomorrow morning before I go to collect dad for lunch.
“As long as you don’t mind me coughing all over you”, she wrote.
“I’ll counter by coughing all over you“, I replied, “and I’m from Bird Flu Land.”
“I’m ok, it’s only affecting young birds with firm breasts.” came the reply.
Now there’s a mental image to toy with while I concentrate on my work …
Dad’s received a letter from your friends and mine at HM Revenue & Customs. I mention this because it starts:
We believe you are currently between jobs …
Between jobs? At eighty one? Having not drawn a wage for twenty years? I know there’s a need for form letters, but really.
The blog’s just had the weirdest spam comment ever.
It came from “Kamagru” and the message left was
Hello. My compliments to a very nice website. I have a great time on your to see your lovely cat. Lots of succes in breeding.
I believe the kids in da hood would respond WTF?
February 25th, 2007 at 11:08 am
Funny how bird flu has to be so much worse than man flu.
February 27th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
So the acronym you’re using shouldn’t be really “MG1″ (etc) but rather “MC1″??
Lionel: You’ve lost me.