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Licenced to breed

July 24th, 2007 Posted in Irritants

Surely the day cannot be far off when prospective parents are required to apply for a licence before they can inflict their offspring on the rest of us.

Two stories from this week make me wish the day was even closer:

More than 10% of the 1,000 parents asked had struggled to understand some words in the stories they had read to their five to 10-year-old children.

Parents said that they made up words they could not read or missed out difficult passages, the survey said.

from BBC News

I’m sorry, but if you’re not literate enough to cope with a child’s bedtime story, how on earth are you going to cope with daily living and be able be protect your children? Can you be sure that you’ve understood directions on medicine? You can’t just make up or skip those directions.

I therefore propose that all prospective parents prove that they have the skills to care for a child before being given permission to breed.

What’s that? You’re not convinced? Then read on - but I must warn you that today’s story is even more frightening:

Glamour model Jordan and pop star Peter Andre have named their baby daughter Princess Tiaamii.

“We’ve put an accent over the first A to make it more exotic and two Is at the end just to make it look a bit different,” Jordan told OK! magazine.

Jordan also revealed that she had considered calling the girl Tinkerbell, but rejected the idea because too many celebrities had chosen it for their dogs.

She said she loved the name they had chosen “because it’s unique, plus it means something special to us”.

from BBC News

I rest my case.

3 Responses to “Licenced to breed”

  1. Murph Says:

    Celebrity Dogs? Tinkerbell? I’m going to shoot myself!


  2. The Bishop Says:

    Contraception, water supply. Send a leaflet around saying it’s happening. Should weed them out nicely.

    Lionel: That’s just brilliant.


  3. 'im oop nawth Says:

    Apparently someone onRadio5Live suggested two middle names to be added, “kangaroo downsport”
    (:-D)


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