rARsh!

Oh dear

It’s going to be a mudbath.

At least I should be able to get the tent pitched before the worst of it.

Speed Test VI

Hmm. A move in the right direction, at least. Back up to 4.1 Mbps today.

One Eyed Jack

A second blinding headache in as many months, then (although things have now improved as far as allowing me to see out of my right eye – the left still hurts if I open it).

No idea what’s set this off and it’s not something I have a history of. Last time it happened LSLP strongly recommended getting my blood pressure checked and that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll make an appointment tomorrow.

Speed Test V

Test No. 5: I do hope we’ll be returning to the speeds found in test 4 as it was back to 2.6 Mbps in today’s test.

Of bans and plans

In common with all other websites that are browsed in fully or partly enclosed public areas, Bongo Fury has become a non-smoking website from 1 July 2007. This means that you are not allowed to smoke cigarettes, pipes, cigars or wacky backy while viewing any part of this website. Failure to comply can result in a £60 fine. If you have a problem with this, see a counsellor, or email stoptellingmewhaticando@newlabour.org

– Spotted at Bongo Fury

Well it made me smile. We’ll come back to what I was doing visiting that particular website in a moment as I’m sure that many of you are wondering about my smoking or lack thereof. How did I manage to stop? Have I really managed to stop?, etc.

If you’re not interested in this and want to get back on to bongos straight away, click here.

To answer the (unasked) questions in order, then:

Have you really stopped smoking?

Yes.

Totally?

Absolutely.

So how long’s it been?

Just over three weeks.

It must have been very hard.

Not really, surprisingly. It’s not been a laugh a minute and there were some vaguely unpleasant cravings for the first two or three days followed by the very, very occasional “I feel like a cigarette” thoughts (which stop as soon as I’m aware of what I’m thinking) but all told it’s be very, very easy.

So you’ll be spending a fortune on nicotine patches or gum.

Nope. Not a penny.

Do you really expect us to believe that after spending twenty eight (or more) years smoking, you read a book and just stopped?

It does sound incredible, I know, but it’s true.

How can that happen? I mean, you’ve tried in the past, haven’t you? Sat through a hypnosis video by that Paul Whateverhisnameis off the TV? You’ve tried weaning yourself off, nicotine patches, nicotine gum and even just going cold turkey. How did a book succeed where everything else failed? Shock tactics?

No, it doesn’t tell you anything you don’t already know. It’s all a bit of a mystery.

Ah, it must be well written to almost hypnotise you subconsciously.

Possibly but doubtful. The book’s actually very poorly written. As far as I can tell, it’s definitely the conscious mind that’s being targetted. All I can say is that however it’s doing it, it’s very effective and I’d recommend the book to any smoker who wants to stop. Allen Carr was never going to win any acclaim on literary grounds, though.

To summarise, then, if you smoke and wish you didn’t, invest £5 or so in a copy of Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking book and read it all the way through (I’d started it and discarded it a couple of years ago – yes, with hindsight I wish I’d continued with it).

But let’s get back to those bongos.

In the dim and distant past, in the years pre-Diana in fact, I had a Plan. It was a Good Plan and one which filled me with Deep Joy when I contemplated it. The Plan related to life after work and was that I would become a wandering minstrel type. We’re talking, of course, of my trading in a bricks and mortar lifestyle for a life on the open road. The way technology is advancing there is little need for anyone to have a permanent address and there’s so much of the UK, Europe and the World that I’d love to see. How better to do this than in my own home from home.

Now that this plan can once again be put in place it’s occurred to me that I don’t actually have any experience of the peripatetic life. The other thought which has focussed my thoughts has been the prospect of three nights under canvas at next weekend’s Latitude festival. Specifically the thought that it would have been a lot more comfortable in a motorhome than under canvas.

I’ve been investigating the budget options and there seems to be a vocal minority trumpeting the conversion of Mazda Bongo vans into tiny motorhomes [Lots of Flash on the last link, but worth a visit for the funky music!]. Carrying a four figure pricetag (albeit for a pre-owned and imported vehicle) does make this a possibility worth considering – especially as one of the converters is based a mere 12 miles from me in nearby Diss.

If I go ahead I will, of course, keep you informed.

And will then turn up and live on your driveway for a month.

Daylight robbery!

The forecast was not good, so I left Torchwood Town early, arriving back in the land of the Big Sky earlier than the denizens of my garden were expecting.

Being a well mannered host, my first thought was to refill the bird feeders, the ground feeder first (as it’s closest to the house).

A scoop of crumble in hand, I lifted the roof off the feeder and looked in. I swear I heard a faint “Oh bollocks“. Looking back at me was an unmistakably evil juvenile delinquent.

Juvenile delinquent

I explained carefully that the contents of the feeder are intended for my feathered friends and the juvie was sent, suitably chagrined, on his way. I think he’s learned his lesson and my ticking off will have done the trick – I don’t think he’ll be back.

A watershed

So there I was, round at Stubby’s, explaining the concept of playlists (as opposed to just playing everything on random shuffle) when she made A Comment. A throwaway comment, I admit, but a comment which struck a chill to the very marrow of my well coated bones.

Now I know that nobody’s perfect and I can put up with a lot – especially when the speaker is generally lovely – but I really hoped that with Manning gone I’d seen and heard the last of such views.

It seems not, so that’s the end of that, then. Such a shame (especially as she was definitely coming round to the idea since I stopped smoking).

Speed Test IV

Stop! No more fiddling with settings, please.

Test No. 4: I’m perfectly happy with the result, what with it being something like twelve times my connection speed this time last week.