Despair
A while ago I signed up for a survey panel about (satellite/cable) TV. There was some sort of prize draw attached, I forget what but it was something nice.
In return I get sent occasional surveys about TV shows.
I received one today. I should have written down the questions but I’ll try to paraphrase the questions and my answers.
Q. A new show is planned called “Tyson:Inside the man”. How likely are you to watch it?
A. 1/10
Q. “Tyson: Inside the man” will be the first show to have full access to Mike Tyson as he rebuilds his life after yada yada yada celebrity friends yada yada Las Vegas. How likely are you watch this show?
A. 1/10
Q. Please describe why you are unlikely to watch this show.
A. I don’t hold boxing in high regard and don’t believe that violent rapists such as Tyson should be given any publicity whatsover.
Q. A show is planned called “Cook Island”. How likely are you to watch this show?
A. 2/10
Q. Four cooks will be stranded on a deserted island, armed only with their cooking knife. They will be challenged to cook what they can find or hunt. How likely are you to watch this show?
A. 1/10
Q. Please describe why you are unlikely to watch this show.
A. It sounds dreadful. Truly dreadful. Surely you can come up with better ideas than this?
Q. A new show is planned called “Last Chance Salon”. How likely are you to watch this show?
A. 1/10
Q. Every day people get bad hair cuts. Last Chance Salon will follow them as expert coiffeurs fix their problems. How likely are you to watch this show now?
A. 1/10
Q. Please describe why you are unlikely to watch this show.
A. Why would anyone want to watch people getting their hair cut? The fact that you think there’s an audience for this show makes me despair for the future of Western civilisation.
Q. A new show is planned called “The best ads in the world”. How likely are you to watch it?
A. 3/10 (This sounded as if it might be ok).
Q. In a time when ads can be easily skipped and avoided is it any surprise that adverts are getting more and more intricate and clever to capture viewers’ attention. This programme will look at adverts, show how they are made and what effect they had on their target audience. How likely are you to watch this programme?
A. 7/10. (This does actually sound potentially interesting)
Q. A new show is planned called “Hotter than my daughter”. How likely are you to watch this show?
A. 1/10
Q. All across the country families are in turmoil where daughters get riled when their sexy mothers flirt with their boyfriends and mothers have to deal with their daughters looking hot in clothes that no longer fit them. Real life mother and daughter work with yada yada yada. How likely are you to watch this show?
A. 1/10
Q. Please describe why you are unlikely to watch this show.
A. Oh dear Lord no. This makes “Cook Island” sound like a good idea. It is dreadful. Truly and utterly dreadful.
This may not be a verbatim transcription of the questions or answers but it’s bloody close. Please tell me I’m not alone in these responses.
September 20th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Lol, as they say!
They could combine the demographic and put Tyson and his bad haircut on Cook Island and have 200 sexy mothers hunt him down and eat him.
September 20th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
You are NOT alone!!!!
September 22nd, 2008 at 10:33 am
The idea of watching Mike Tyson receive a colonoscopy has a certain appeal.
September 22nd, 2008 at 10:35 am
Will the cooks be allowed to hunt, kill and eat each other?
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:47 am
That wasn’t specified but it would certainly add to the entertainment value.
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
HA! Brilliant responses! It does indeed make one despair for the intellectual future of the human race, coming up with programme ideas like that. Yep, truly dreadful.