rARsh!

Sony-u-Dislike

I met Tall Andy for lunch today and, after a lengthy whittling down process while circling the Chapelfield food court I sped things up by offering him the choice of the “finest pastie” place or Spud-u-Like.

“Spud, then. The pasties are crap.”

“But they claim to be the finest.”

“Yes, the finest in that shop. Perhaps.”

We were intrigued to spot a special “Thanksgiving” meal deal at the Spud place. Heinz baked beans and Monterey Jack cheese fillings for just £2.99. We discussed this on two levels. The first being whether or not baked beans and cheese on a baked potato could honestly be described as a special meal deal – it being, surely, one of the more common topping combinations. The second level was wondering just what warranted the additional 31 pence – as we could plainly see Baked Beans & Cheese on offer on the normal menu at £2.68.

“Ah but it’s Monteray Jack cheese.”

I wasn’t convinced. “I’m not convinced,” I said. “I very much doubt you could discern any difference between cheeses melted over beans on a baked potato let alone a difference that would warrant a 31 pence premium.”

We declined the chance to enjoy a Thanksgiving special meal deal and took our chosen repasts to a suitable brightly coloured table. It occurred to me that the whole Spud-u-Like area was on the garish side, as if designed to placate the most ADHD of five year olds. This impression was only heightened when I lifted the paper napkin to find the cutlery. It was green. Bright green, plastic and flat. Even the fork had virtually no discernable concavity and the tines, such as they were, would struggle to pick up something sticky let alone something with, for the sake of argument, a thick skin.

“Do you get the impression we need to get a parent over here to cut up our food?” I asked as I glanced across the divide at the definitely adult-orientated, comfy chaired and subdued colouration of the pastie area. There’s clearly a balance required here and it is, I fear, a tough call.

After our meal we wandered into the Sony shop to drool over extortionate gadgetry, managing to disrupt carefully set up demonstration videos by insisting on testing how finger friendly the ultramobile notebooks’ keyboards were (and the answer is very finger friendly, in case you were wondering).

“What someone needs to do,“, I remarked as I absent mindedly picked up and pocketed a leaflet, “is bring out a tiny laptop with a built in SIM card so you don’t have all the hassle of pairing the notebook to your bluetooth phone and then using the phone as a modem. It’s can be a pain in the butt with Windows and as for Linux – sheesh!”

“Hmmm” was Tall Andy’s thoughful response.

When I got home I discovered the Sony leaflet in my pocket and glanced at the ludicrously priced geegaws.

“Bastards!” I exclaimed (to Kirsti’s surprise).

I read on.

“What a bunch of bastards! How dare they!” (no reaction this time – she was ready for further outbursts). How dare that faceless corporation steal my idea before I’d even thought of it, just to avoid paying me the royalties I clearly deserve. Bastards.

And then charge so much for the oh-so-teeny-and-lovely-and-desirable notebook.

Bastards.